i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
