Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
