Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
