Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
