i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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