I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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