i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
