no, he came in my armpit
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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