Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
