using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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