I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
