I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
only you would photoshop your dick
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
