If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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