She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
