we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
