He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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