We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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