woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
