i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
