i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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