Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
