just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
