I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
