69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
