dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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