did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
