is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
