how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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