I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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