okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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