The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
