so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
