so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
