So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
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