yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
