You made me cry and you don't even care
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
