Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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