I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
