Duck Duck Cougar?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
