i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
