Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
