How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
