Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So drunk its hurt
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
