I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
COCAINE IS GR8
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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