her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
