i don't like sucking hair
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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