My liver just broke up with me...
wanna go halves on a baby?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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