don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
