Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
