ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
