YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Two words: nipple clamps
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